valentineluke | (no subject)

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: Building 9 apartment #6

(no subject)

(How are you doing? How much does Father Anderson know?)

(I heard about what Aizen did to Rangiku. Has it had any positive change on her?)

(After helping Elle change back to her true form, we both needed a break from one another. I also had much to do -

1) Picking-up swords - Rangiku's dwarf-made chisa katana is beautiful. Although the sword was carefully crafted to Japanese specifications it is not an exact replicate. There are intentionally added subtle Celtic touches, the most promiment of which is the tsuba's image of a cat among chrysanthemums. This was done out of respect for both the sword and to the gods on both sides. Supposedly, masking a weapon's true origins is a grave insult to all and can sometimes even result in it becoming cursed.

After looking it over (handles wonderfully, and the inbetween length will serve the duel purpose of being both katana and wakazashi) was carefully wrapped first in white cotton cloth then gray. Simple runic seal put into place to keep it all together and prevent contamination. I can invoke the seal to open only under certain conditions - given how Rangiku is changing, I may do that to ensure the sword is used for what it's intended for.

On the way back, stopped-off in the Asian Demon District and picked-up demon-made katanas for Elle and Jan. Tsuba's image of a kirin for him, snake for her. Both are high quality and pose no danger (even to Elle in her new condition) to either from the minor demon essence contained within.

2) Preparing for a werewolf - Stocked-up both Jan's and my apartments with beef jerky along with various canned meats in assorted sizes. Got a collar with tracking device and a leash....I'm not looking forward to using either one. Also have been reading werewolf lore and found it to be almost as frustrating as vampire lore. Trying to get the general basics in order to be prepared. Have taken note of when the next full moon is and will watch Elle closely in case it's moods that trigger a shift. Hopefully Constantine can help out.

Must persuade her to come home too. Far easier to deal with this if we're living close to one another and Budd is no longer a threat.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't want you running wild again. After what happened with Constantine, people are going to be quick to shoot and your wolf is white.

You're not even denying it!

I don't want or plan on running around like a fucking animal. I'm a human being and I'm not wearing a collar.

...this isn't going to get any easier. In fact I'm sure that this will get worse. I didn't ask you to play master. I don't expect you to.

I'm a fucking freak of nature... How do you feel about a relationship with this? I'm not talking about cleaning my shit or knowing where I'm going.

You didn't remember yourself for most of that day, and that is what worries me.

If anyone is a freak of nature here, it's me the vampiric humaniod created by science. If I had a problem with your 'condition' wouldn't be reading-up on lycanthropy.

I know.

I'm asking about us, Luke. You and I, not my problem.

I care for and am here for you - hopefully the wolf realizes that too.

Care is a funny word, you know. It can be a verb for affections interchangable with like and for task of maintaining.

I know you care, but the more time that passes the more I feel that you have higher obligations that you care about more. I dunno which makes me feel more upset, that I've accepted it or that there's nothing I can do about it.

I don't understand, what am I doing wrong??!!

You aren't there, Luke.

Even when you are with me you're preoccupied, planning...far away.

I...can't hold that against you.

You honestly believe I'm doing that 24/7??!!

I don't know! I don't know why I feel so fucking lonely still!

Is any of this satisfying to you--the coming and goings? You think I'm a bitch now--just wait.

Maybe because I was nothing more than a substitute for him?

What the fuck did you just say?

Am I?

I don't believe you are even asking this. Fuck no!

Maybe you don't know me very well after all, but I'm attempting to be decent with you and not take cheap shots.

I don't understand, I really don't understand.

Luke...

We keep running into this problem. The way I see it, you will end up resenting me for this constant care, providing and exhaust your damn self.

I'm not a happy person.

This whole shit thrown at me...

If the insecurity doesn't let up it will push me away.

Insecurity. Is that how you see it?

It seems no matter what I do it's never enough, or even right.

Do I even ask for half the things you do, Luke?

I've never been an ungrateful cunt.

Do you want me to go?

This an opportunity to go.

I owe it to you.

~~No.~~

~~Good, because I wasn't going to.~~

Oh?

Did you not get that this is not going to get any easier? I don't to have our differences turn into a fucking deal ~~where we both get sick of it all and want to kill each other~~.

I'm well aware of it - all we can do is try and deal with things as best we can.

Speaking of differences, Constantine wanted to talk to you.

I'm keeping my cool best I can. Don't stay if you don't want to right now because leaving later will be even more difficult.

No leash. No collar.

...I know. We are going to talk. There are several things I'd like to say to him. Don't change the subject.

I want to.

The collar was for tracking purposes. The leash would be a last resort if I had to get you somewhere safe in a hurry. But since have no idea how to easily 'bell' a wolf, probably will never use them. Maybe the food will be enough incentive for the wolf to trust me.

If you're going to hit him, wait until after getting the helpful tips.

That helps.

The problem is that with the collar, I'd have to wear it as a person for the caution of changing at the drop of a hat. I'm not doing that.

Bastard could use a few knocks around to begin with to get him talking. Nothing too bad. I am capable of being gentle, you know.

Constantine, once while in wolf form, was taken by the Red Guard. It took time to find him. There were other times as well when the wolf would disappear and the Nightmare had no idea where he was.

Besides following, I don't know of any other way of keeping track of your wolf if she goes wild.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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