valentineluke | (no subject)

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: Building 9 apartment #6

(no subject)

(How are you doing? How much does Father Anderson know?)

(I heard about what Aizen did to Rangiku. Has it had any positive change on her?)

(After helping Elle change back to her true form, we both needed a break from one another. I also had much to do -

1) Picking-up swords - Rangiku's dwarf-made chisa katana is beautiful. Although the sword was carefully crafted to Japanese specifications it is not an exact replicate. There are intentionally added subtle Celtic touches, the most promiment of which is the tsuba's image of a cat among chrysanthemums. This was done out of respect for both the sword and to the gods on both sides. Supposedly, masking a weapon's true origins is a grave insult to all and can sometimes even result in it becoming cursed.

After looking it over (handles wonderfully, and the inbetween length will serve the duel purpose of being both katana and wakazashi) was carefully wrapped first in white cotton cloth then gray. Simple runic seal put into place to keep it all together and prevent contamination. I can invoke the seal to open only under certain conditions - given how Rangiku is changing, I may do that to ensure the sword is used for what it's intended for.

On the way back, stopped-off in the Asian Demon District and picked-up demon-made katanas for Elle and Jan. Tsuba's image of a kirin for him, snake for her. Both are high quality and pose no danger (even to Elle in her new condition) to either from the minor demon essence contained within.

2) Preparing for a werewolf - Stocked-up both Jan's and my apartments with beef jerky along with various canned meats in assorted sizes. Got a collar with tracking device and a leash....I'm not looking forward to using either one. Also have been reading werewolf lore and found it to be almost as frustrating as vampire lore. Trying to get the general basics in order to be prepared. Have taken note of when the next full moon is and will watch Elle closely in case it's moods that trigger a shift. Hopefully Constantine can help out.

Must persuade her to come home too. Far easier to deal with this if we're living close to one another and Budd is no longer a threat.

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.... how do you think I feel?

Throwing up now, fever's even higher..... aches so much....

He was.... a huge help. Kinda feel sorry for him, though... he didn't have an easy time with me.

I thought it would be different with you.

Father Anderson is from my world and a vampire hunter. Given his reaction to Constantine's public announcement of lycanthropy, probably experienced in eliminating werewolves as well.

It made her more fragile if anything. She questions herself, her memories, and what she saw. I'm unsure of what is true and what isn't, but it's safe to assume that it was totally up to Aizen's will. I spent a few hours comforting her. If this did anything, it confirmed her trust in me. Currently she is worried about the red god as well, and I am working on getting her to interact with more of her people.

If I have to, I will offer her my own power to feed off of.

...I'm sending over my report... It's not good...
--Report does not exist for anyone other then luke--

Subject: Rangiku
Race: Shinigami
Mental state: To be determined.

Concerning Aizen's tampering:
-Received forced revival of memories traded perhaps? Unknown really due to the interference of Aizen.
 -results of forced revival: Partial shattering of mental psyche, Extreme fear
  -Was able to calm down subject
     -Subject expressed pain of abandonment
      -Plan of action: supportive, confirming that we will not abandon her
  -Time spend singing estimated to be 4 hours, 20+ minutes true time unknown due to lack of a watch.
    -Subject slept through most of the time
     -Sleep state: peaceful
  -Subject is unsure of self at times
  -Dangers: Unknown at time other then increased stress on all points

Personal notes:
None at time...

Concerning her consort:
-Currently worried that she is draining the red god too much VIA mark
 -Offering alternative solutions:
  -Asking Shinigami Will stress this
   -Dangers Unknown to self
  -Offering up own powers for usage
   -Dangers: Highly risky for several reasons:
     -Could affect child
     -Due to the nature of the power transfer, could conflict with red god's energy
     -Possible perm. Loss to original host
     -Possible death though I am already DEAD
  -Seek alternate sources
   -Subject mentioned a power transfer while coupling with Greed
     -Subject also mentioned Red God's displeasure at such a transfer

Personal notes:
It seems that the link is getting worse. She has adopted a belief that when he dies, she will as well.
It could be due to the loss of another power source, but I will assume the worst...
Has it ever been confirmed that the mark is permanent?
It feels like I'm betraying her trust...

Added/new Dangers:
 -The Arrancar Espada Zaera-polo Grantz
-Is aware that I have contact and has concerns about subject
 -Reason being lack of forethought on my part; roommate revealed minor information
 -Is unaware of plans made with receiver of reports
 -Possible that he doesn't care I hope not
 -Is most likely unaware that subject places great trust in me
 -If he has made any plans or theories, I am unaware of them
-Precautions taken:
 -Locked up all notes and will do so in the future
 -Ensure roommate is no where in sight; errands?
 -Constant spell usage; Type: protection, subclass: shield
  -The dangers of such are understood.
 -Special encoding added to report transfers to Recipient
 -Distraction tactics
   -Also noted since I am the only healer willing to aide his kind when injured
    -This reason may provide protection from outside sources discovering
     -However if he reveals this to his master, may be forced to confront
      -If confronted or captured, sender will terminate self immediately VIA forced internal Magical disruption

Personal notes:
I was an idiot... I know...

...I'm sorry.

Aizen could be getting ready to strike back at 'him' by taking her away. What crueler blow than one that hits both heart and pride?

I think it best to encourage removal of the Mark. It's a two-way street, feeding Rangiku means feeding Xulchilbara as well. She does seem more of her self when weakened, maybe 'starving' could break 'his' hold?

It seemed as if they were at conflict with each other. I cannot say I believe that. If anything, his blow to her mental state encouraged her to cling further to the Red god.

...I'll see what I can do... But I do not promise much. If only it were simpler.

Not surprised - Aizen did get rid of his supposed love for her and was quick to make that publically known. Why she left my brother for that obviously self-centered bastard, I will never understand. Or for that matter why she would find 'Xuchilbara' appealing after what 'he' did.

At least in her current condition, I don't have to worry about aggressive demands for the sword or Jan being tormented.

I was not here for the relationship between Aizen or Rangiku, and most definitely not Jan, but it is clear as day that it had a great impact. She was pregnant at the time of the...my kidnapping. As well as locked away, and... it may be because she lost Haineko, which is a notable part of her soul. With the balance thrown off, it allowed the lure of darkness to 'corrupt' her.

I don't think right now she is too concerned about the sword. As for Jan, he seems content on believing it is a clone of her... His actions aren't comforting either.

Rather than my telling of it, you should get the story of Aizen from her. Will help explain why Jan has gone to an extreme length to cope.

Do you know how Haineko was lost? She wouldn't tell me.

I suppose I should. It would help to explain a little more.

...Remember when I said that I could not trade my own powers, my egg-chick Eisen, and a blade of great value for the bond to be repaired or given an alternate?

Yes, but you'll have to explain further.

I am missing part of my soul like Rangiku, it's a strange hollowness.

...In an attempt to stop Rangiku's agony from the loss of part of her soul, I offered some of the greatest prices I could in a trade. My defense, my power to use song as a weapon, a symbol of my comrades and the risk we took, Eisen... who is like my son, but I could not get the diety to agree. She explained that there had been a deal made in exchange for the speed up birth, and my counter offer for the retrieval of Haineko would interfere with this exchange. That the bond... could never be reformed. Haineko was traded, though Rangiku claimed Haineko agreed...

What you tried to do out of genuine friendship she did out of foolishness over a false love.

I thought 'he' might have been the reason for it. This does however confirm that she shouldn't attempt a calling until after the pregnancy's end - which in turn probably means the end of the deity's deal.

...Please don't utter a word to anyone...

Yes, she should not. She is contemplating sleeping till the end of the pregnancy...

I won't.

Doing that would put her at even more risk. Cut-off from everyone she knows, 'His' hold would become all encompassing.

So I'm a task on your list?

I don't want you running wild again. After what happened with Constantine, people are going to be quick to shoot and your wolf is white.

You're not even denying it!

I don't want or plan on running around like a fucking animal. I'm a human being and I'm not wearing a collar.

...this isn't going to get any easier. In fact I'm sure that this will get worse. I didn't ask you to play master. I don't expect you to.

I'm a fucking freak of nature... How do you feel about a relationship with this? I'm not talking about cleaning my shit or knowing where I'm going.

You didn't remember yourself for most of that day, and that is what worries me.

If anyone is a freak of nature here, it's me the vampiric humaniod created by science. If I had a problem with your 'condition' wouldn't be reading-up on lycanthropy.

I know.

I'm asking about us, Luke. You and I, not my problem.

I care for and am here for you - hopefully the wolf realizes that too.

Care is a funny word, you know. It can be a verb for affections interchangable with like and for task of maintaining.

I know you care, but the more time that passes the more I feel that you have higher obligations that you care about more. I dunno which makes me feel more upset, that I've accepted it or that there's nothing I can do about it.

I don't understand, what am I doing wrong??!!

You aren't there, Luke.

Even when you are with me you're preoccupied, planning...far away.

I...can't hold that against you.

You honestly believe I'm doing that 24/7??!!

I don't know! I don't know why I feel so fucking lonely still!

Is any of this satisfying to you--the coming and goings? You think I'm a bitch now--just wait.

Maybe because I was nothing more than a substitute for him?

What the fuck did you just say?

Am I?

I don't believe you are even asking this. Fuck no!

Maybe you don't know me very well after all, but I'm attempting to be decent with you and not take cheap shots.

I don't understand, I really don't understand.

Luke...

We keep running into this problem. The way I see it, you will end up resenting me for this constant care, providing and exhaust your damn self.

I'm not a happy person.

This whole shit thrown at me...

If the insecurity doesn't let up it will push me away.

Insecurity. Is that how you see it?

It seems no matter what I do it's never enough, or even right.

Do I even ask for half the things you do, Luke?

I've never been an ungrateful cunt.

Do you want me to go?

This an opportunity to go.

I owe it to you.

~~No.~~

~~Good, because I wasn't going to.~~

Oh?

Did you not get that this is not going to get any easier? I don't to have our differences turn into a fucking deal ~~where we both get sick of it all and want to kill each other~~.

I'm well aware of it - all we can do is try and deal with things as best we can.

Speaking of differences, Constantine wanted to talk to you.

I'm keeping my cool best I can. Don't stay if you don't want to right now because leaving later will be even more difficult.

No leash. No collar.

...I know. We are going to talk. There are several things I'd like to say to him. Don't change the subject.

I want to.

The collar was for tracking purposes. The leash would be a last resort if I had to get you somewhere safe in a hurry. But since have no idea how to easily 'bell' a wolf, probably will never use them. Maybe the food will be enough incentive for the wolf to trust me.

If you're going to hit him, wait until after getting the helpful tips.

That helps.

The problem is that with the collar, I'd have to wear it as a person for the caution of changing at the drop of a hat. I'm not doing that.

Bastard could use a few knocks around to begin with to get him talking. Nothing too bad. I am capable of being gentle, you know.

Constantine, once while in wolf form, was taken by the Red Guard. It took time to find him. There were other times as well when the wolf would disappear and the Nightmare had no idea where he was.

Besides following, I don't know of any other way of keeping track of your wolf if she goes wild.

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